Some days I’m angry. Most of the time, I just deal.
Today is Saturday. I intended to write some music today. I played guitar for 15 minutes and spent most of the rest of the day doing what I call “Household administration.”
I work all week, full time. After work, I, more often than not, go to a club to hear music (usually a friend’s performance), a museum to hear a lecture or some music, or meet friends for dinner to catch up on the latest personal news. During the week, there is not much time to do household administration—too many social responsibilities to meet and homework for the class I’m taking—therefore, generally, household administration ends up falling to the weekend.
But then, if that’s the case, these days “off,” aren’t really “days off,” are they? No, not when they entail opening the week’s mail, cleaning the fridge to prepare for the next week’s grocery order, and doing laundry so I have something to wear to work. My task this weekend is to do all of the above, plus clean my closet and store away my summer clothes to reintroduce winter clothes, order holiday cards, finish a project for the Board I’m on, and send thank you notes to my family in Sicily (which should have been done in September!). … Argh.
Really, my days “off” become recovery and preparation for the work week and “free time” to fulfill other responsibilities I’ve taken on. What kind of existence is that? Where’s the relaxation? Where’s the time to daydream?
Now that baseball season is over, what do I have to distract me while I’m doing all of this “administration?”
Long story, short: Today, I’m angry.
I’m angry because I am part of the system, and I never intended to allow that to happen. But really, I don’t have anyone to blame but myself. I agreed to participate in all of the above. And baseball season ends…
So, I guess, I will just deal.
I often wish that every weekend was three days long.
Perhaps tomorrow I’ll have 30 minutes to write some music and practice guitar. I suppose I might, if I finish the closet-cleaning project and get my laundry done. Well, at least I’ll be able to get dressed in warm clothes to go back to work on Monday … and continue the cycle all over again.
3 months ago • Notes